Moving day!

Moving day!!!

Well, packing day!  I've spent my week trying to get the house ready for our move tomorrow.  Trying to move with a newborn has been a mess!  It would be a little easier if we were moving everything to one location - but since we've yet to find a new house - we are moving half to storage and half to Brent's moms house..  She has an over the garage apartment that we will stay in until we buy another house.

We feel like we rushed in picking this one and want to take our time on the next house!  But not too much time!  I love my inlaws.. but being roommates will be stressful at times, I'm sure.

I'm really sad about moving!  I LOVE this house - I have since the first day I saw it!  I'll miss the location and being so close to certain things.. but I know I'll love our new location even more as we plan to move to Franklin which has our staples.. Costco, Chuy's.. etc!

More than anything it makes me sad that I spent so much time on Addie Mae's room, just to pack it all up.  She won't have a room at the apartment :(  I'm still bringing my glider and her crib - but it makes me sad that she'll spent 3-5 months without having her own space.

I need to suck it up!  In the long run this will be better for us and its what we've talked about for months and months.  

Say a prayer for me today!  This has been HELL so far this week and I hope today goes smoothly!  

Addie Mae must be going through that 6 weeks growth spurt because she has been ULTRA fussy, hungry, and wants to be held for most of the day.

xoxo

1 month old!!!

Our sweet baby girl is ONE month old!!

This seemed like the longest and shortest month all at the same time!  We've had such a great time getting to know Addie Mae!

She had her first holiday and mall trip all in one!  Our 4th of July was much different than the previous years - we went to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch and then one really quick lap around the mall - little miss was getting fussy!

We *think* we have figured out her tummy issues.. she's now on Nutramigen formula (which cost more per month an all of our utilities combined.. awesome) & a reflux medicine.  So far so good with the combo and we have a much happier baby girl!  She still throws up SO much - but she could just be a happy spitter?  It doesn't seem to bother her.  I'll be glad when her insides figure out what to do with the food and she can keep an entire meal down!  .. I'll be doing much less laundry then.

We started the Moms on Call program and have had 3 out of 4 nights of really good sleep!  Almost 6 hour stretches make me a super happy mommy!  She seems to like the schedule as she isn't as fussy - but that could be from the formula!  We do bath time every night at 8:30 and dinner at 9 and then right to bed - the routine has really helped me plan out my nights too!

She weighed 9 3/4 pounds when I took her to the doctor on Monday - little chunker!!!

She smiled a few times when I was holding her earlier this week.. but I don't think she meant to or knows that she did!  It hasn't happened since - but I hope it does soon!  She had the sweetest smile!

I'm reading about the 6 week growth spurt - she's in her 6th week now... gah I hope it isn't awful!  I'm just now getting used to her being a happy baby!!!

.. & we have 6 week shots on Friday..  mercy!

Addie Mae enjoys her swing (for short amounts of time).. her pacifier!... the songs that daddy makes up for her.. and snuggle time on the couch!

& a weight update!  I gained 33 lbs while pregnant - I've got 10 more to go!  I feel like I've been at at the 10 lb mark for 2 weeks now!  I haven't done one single thing work out wise.. hopefully soon I can get in the gym!  Or.. get baby girl out for a jog!  I would love to be about 5-10 lbs below my pre-baby weight.. we'll see.

Thank you all SO SO much for the sweet comments on my last post!!!!  You made me feel so much better!!!

We LOVE the face that Addie Mae is making below!  She does her little lips like a fish!  She just to make it so many times a day - now we hardly ever see her do it.

Her 1st day at dad's warehouse!  She did great and I was able to get some work done too!

 

Whoa.. this is tough!

* so.. I somehow posted this on some other blog?.. and not my own.  It should have came before my 4 week update.  oh well!

Addie Mae is almost 4 weeks old already!!  How did this happen?!?  I feel like we just brought her home a few days ago!!

We've been doing pretty good!!  Mid-way through week 3 I quit breast feeding :(  Quit.. gave up.. all words that I tell myself every day - and feel horrible about.  At the hospital she ate and latched well.. then we get home and things get tricky.  She wasn't going #1 and the doctor told me to put her on formula asap and bring her in the next day.. she had lost almost a pound and the doctor was concerned about her kidneys - a baby MUST go #1!

I went home and tried super hard at nursing - she just kept falling asleep or it was so painful that I would cry through the entire hour+.  The next week I went to see a lactation consultant at the hospital - come to find out - Addie Mae was latching all wrong!  She kept sticking her bottom lip inside!  OUCH.  The nurse helped pull out her lip - and just that fast it was like magic!  She nursed great and my pain was half!  Bad news - she told me I would have to have someone help pull out her lip for the next week or so until she hopefully corrected her bad habit.  You can't do it with only 2 hands.. She suggested I have a friend come over and help me for each feeding.  Scuse.  My baby eats 8+ times a day.  WHO is going to come over to help me pull out her bottom lip?  Right.

So, I tried to do it on my own for the next several days - sometimes I got it - most times I didn't.  I pumped as much as I could and didn't really use formula again.  Each feeding was so so painful!  I had all sorts of horrific things going on with my lady parts and would just cry and cry until Addie was finished nursing.  

Finally - I had had it.  I quit breast feeding :(  

Yall, I've literally cried and cried since the day I quit.  Today is the first day that I haven't broken down about it.  I feel like such a failure.  Why didn't I just pump for the next 2 months?  Why did I let convenience and pain stop me from doing whats best for my baby?  We have our house for sale and I was constantly having to clean nursing parts - clean bottles - nurse her in my bedroom so that I didn't mess up other parts of the house.. I blame about 30% of my quitting on the fact that I never could get into solid nursing routine.  When you've got to be out of your house with a 1 hour notice for showings, inspections, whatever - it makes it hard.  

I'm overwhelmed with so much guilt - and now knowing that my milk is gone  -  forever  -.. I can't seem to get over the fact that I didn't try harder.

I'm doing better today - I know that I'm ultra emotional - and hopefully I'll be able to shake this guilt soon.. because the decision is made and I can't go back now.  I have to just tell myself that TONS of babies are formula fed and turn out just fine!  And that a HAPPY mom is best for Addie over anything else.  

So.. there is my vent.  I didn't cry while writing it - so maybe I'm turning a corner.  

Now, about formula.  Addie Mae's 1st formula made her throw up.  all. day. long.  Via mouth and nose.  It was HORRIBLE to see!  She also screamed 3 entire nights - not sure if that was formula related..   Finally called our pedi and she switched us to a Soy formula.. so far the throwing up has been so much better!!  With the switch came awful consitpation.. the past 2 days have been really really tough.. but I think she's getting better!  

Long story short.  Being a mom has made my heart so very full with love.  I look at her and get so emotional because I just love her so much and want to be the very best for her.  I never ever thought it would be so much work - and so much reward all at the same time.

I'm trying to hold her and talk to her as much as I can - I don't want this special time to pass us by.  

That is my rambling update.. 

( couch shot this morning.. no make up.. hair hasn't been washed in FIVE DAYS.. living the dream!! )

Yall have a great week!  Go to the mall.. or dinner.. or something for me.  

xo

.. 4 weeks old!!

My sweet girl is 4 weeks old today!  Where has the time gone?!

No real positives to report on the formula front..  Addie is still having a super hard time.  She's always gassy, fussy, and generally not happy.

We tried Enfamil Gentlease - she threw it up constantly..  nose and mouth!  It was awful to see!

Today we decided to try Enfamil Nutramigen .. or what people call "liquid gold"..  

I'll need to sell my arm to feed her this - but if it works like the entire internet says it should - then it will be worth it!  I read that we should have a new baby within 24 - 48 hours - PRAY that its true!

Currently she's finally sleeping - but with swollen red eyes because she cried a few hours.. and cried is not really the word.. I should say screamed :(

I hate more than anything seeing my sweet girl in so much pain - please please let this new formula work!!

anyway - on to pictures of my little!

{ Daddy & baby girl right after she was born! }

{ my long long baby!!!  20.5 inches!  }

{ my parents drove in 9 hours to meet her!!  They got to the hospital at 4am!  Dad looks rough :)  }

{ finally going home!!! }

Hopefully in a week I have better news to report!  Right now.. I just maintain trying to keep her from being upset!!  Its constant!

xoxo